Lawyers and judges attempting to commit humor in court often fall flat.
The funniest stuff usually comes up accidentally, like the time I made a reference, during the cross-examination of a sizable detective, to him, his large partner and the relatively slight prosecutor, who'd all driven together to a distant prison to lean on a witness in a multiple murder case, as "heavies."
Speaking metaphorically, I was, of course, suggesting that their journey had no benign purpose and their manner was intimidating regarding the young witness, as far as my client was concerned.
The comparatively slight prosecutor stood up and interrupted, not with a legal objection, but with a pointed an observation:
"The inspectors may be heavies," he said, " but not me."
The resulting burst of laughter from the jury blunted my point and had us all laughing.
***
Law professors who attempt humor run similar risks. I rarely have a joke to tell, but if I can work into the discussion a wry observation derived from some old joke (they're all old), I'll give it a shot, provided it flows naturally. I won't stop to tell an obvious joke because I'm not there to tell jokes, others do it so much better, and the audience might not laugh other than out of sympathy for my foolishness in trying to do something I'm not cut out to do.
Sometimes the more-or-less legitimate ironic observation goes over the head of those not expecting an attempt at humor, regrettably.
The other evening I was trying to make the point that the Constitution grants powers and forbids powers to various government actors under Separation of Powers theory, such as the president, the legislature, and the judiciary. The discussion arose in the context of whether President Truman had the power to seize the Nation's steel mills to prevent a strike as a matter of national emergency when the country was fighting in Korea and needed steel.
Generally speaking, I observed, unless the law forbids one from doing something, one is permitted to do it.
Hence the rule that in America, everything that is not forbidden is permitted, while in the Soviet Union, by contrast, everything that was not permitted was forbidden. And in France, of course, everything that is not forbidden is mandatory.
Ba-Dum!
Not a peep from any of the 38.
"That's a joke," I explained, resolving not to do that again.
Until the next time, of course.
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